After my hypnotherapy session I went out to Goodnight's Comedy Club in Raleigh because Emo Philips would be performing there over the weekend!!! (This was all last Friday) Emo Philips is my favorite comedian, pretty much the only comedian I find hilarious as well as original. Btw, the "Emo" has nothing to do with the emo trend/music. He's way before that time.
So, Emo is the only 3D person I've ever admired/worshipped and this was my chance to meet him! First we went to the restaurant at Goodnight's called the Old Grill (their fries were AMAZING) and since we ate there we got priority seating in the club (not really a big deal...). First up was the emcee's 10 minutes of comedy, which was fine for an emcee, then some guy known as the math teacher comic did a 30 minute set, and he was good too, but I WAS DYING FOR EMO
When Emo came out on stage (tiny stage) and he was SO CLOSE I could've run up, jumped on stage and touched him, my heart went crazy. And yes, if you know of him, he is just as awkward in person as he is on Youtube. His voice is one of the best parts. It's like a roller coaster of pitches and I could listen to it all day long. I hear him on Home Movies as the part of Shannon (I KNOW, it's fate) the bully, and on Slacker Cats as the homeless, crazy cat Dooper. The way I learned about him in the first place is on Dr. Katz, playing himself as a patient. He had the funniest Dr. Katz episode of all of them.
I drew Emo a picture of his character from Dr. Katz with Dooper from Slacker Cats:
I got to meet him after the show and got him to sign the picture!! He said he really liked it and asked me to send it to him on his myspace (again, since I sent it to him once before but it got misplaced). Then I got to take a picture with him:
Aren't we beautiful!?!?
To top it all off, I bought his cd and got that signed too, by making Mark, my Dad's coworker that came along with his lovely wife Claire (I like them a lot), stand in line and get it signed to Shannon =D. So I have a plethora of Emo signage now.
THEN, I come home and he sends me a message on myspace saying thanks for coming to his show, heehee ^____________^ AND THEN, Tues, today, I get a message from him thanking me for the picture and when I go to his myspace page I see that he's using it as his profile pic >_
http://www.myspace.com/emophilips
I can now die happy.
But, yeah. He probably thinks I am creepy jailbait stalker. XD
Oh man, you know what sucks? He has a fiance who is young, blonde, smart, funny, and VOLUPTUOUS. Simply perfect. So, I don't think it's gonna work out for Emo and I. But, his fiance (Kipleigh) does have a chin cleft just like me, so I feel like we're basically the same person. XD
Ever since, I've been writing stand-up in my head, thinking that if by some miracle I can leave the house and stand in front of an audience that expects great things from me, I can become emcee for Goodnight's in a year's time and emcee for Emo. ::faint::
So, Emo is the only 3D person I've ever admired/worshipped and this was my chance to meet him! First we went to the restaurant at Goodnight's called the Old Grill (their fries were AMAZING) and since we ate there we got priority seating in the club (not really a big deal...). First up was the emcee's 10 minutes of comedy, which was fine for an emcee, then some guy known as the math teacher comic did a 30 minute set, and he was good too, but I WAS DYING FOR EMO
When Emo came out on stage (tiny stage) and he was SO CLOSE I could've run up, jumped on stage and touched him, my heart went crazy. And yes, if you know of him, he is just as awkward in person as he is on Youtube. His voice is one of the best parts. It's like a roller coaster of pitches and I could listen to it all day long. I hear him on Home Movies as the part of Shannon (I KNOW, it's fate) the bully, and on Slacker Cats as the homeless, crazy cat Dooper. The way I learned about him in the first place is on Dr. Katz, playing himself as a patient. He had the funniest Dr. Katz episode of all of them.
I drew Emo a picture of his character from Dr. Katz with Dooper from Slacker Cats:
I got to meet him after the show and got him to sign the picture!! He said he really liked it and asked me to send it to him on his myspace (again, since I sent it to him once before but it got misplaced). Then I got to take a picture with him:
Aren't we beautiful!?!?
To top it all off, I bought his cd and got that signed too, by making Mark, my Dad's coworker that came along with his lovely wife Claire (I like them a lot), stand in line and get it signed to Shannon =D. So I have a plethora of Emo signage now.
THEN, I come home and he sends me a message on myspace saying thanks for coming to his show, heehee ^____________^ AND THEN, Tues, today, I get a message from him thanking me for the picture and when I go to his myspace page I see that he's using it as his profile pic >_
http://www.myspace.com/emophilips
I can now die happy.
But, yeah. He probably thinks I am creepy jailbait stalker. XD
Oh man, you know what sucks? He has a fiance who is young, blonde, smart, funny, and VOLUPTUOUS. Simply perfect. So, I don't think it's gonna work out for Emo and I. But, his fiance (Kipleigh) does have a chin cleft just like me, so I feel like we're basically the same person. XD
Ever since, I've been writing stand-up in my head, thinking that if by some miracle I can leave the house and stand in front of an audience that expects great things from me, I can become emcee for Goodnight's in a year's time and emcee for Emo. ::faint::
15/11: Shan's Big Day (Part One)
I had two life-changing events yesterday (planned ones), and I am still a bit overstimulated. Dear god. The sheer immenseness of it all. @_@ Firstly, I had a hypnotherapy appointment with my new psychiatrist (who is awesome, btw, and puts all my others to shame). Secondly, I met my God, comedian Emo Phillips. But while the Emo Philips meeting was divine and I want to get it, I need to talk about my encounter with my subconscious because it is extremely important for my mental health.
"Past life regression" is a new age technique where a psychiatrist trained in hypnosis gets you to relax and helps you into a deep trance (all hypnosis is self-hypnosis), where your subconscious mind takes you to a place in another time (a past life of yours) and shows you the source of your problems in this life, which have been mistakenly carried over from the past life. Therefore, if you have problems that don't make sense regarding your current life, then something has stuck with you that shouldn't have, or that you are supposed to overcome but can't.
Now, it doesn't matter if your brain makes your past life up. All that matters is that you are asking your subconscious to help you get better subconsciously. Who better to ask for help? Whether it is your imagination or not, what you see will help you.
I, personally, based on my experience, believe it is a past life of mine, because my imagination would never have thought up something so lame and irritating as what I experienced as a past life:
My psychiatrist had me meditate deeply. I've done meditation before to help anxiety, but it never really helped. In meditation you go to your "happy place", mine is a one tree hill. He told me to float above my body in the happy place and fly away for a bit. When I returned to my body, it would be a different body in a different time. As soon as I left my body I saw a disturbing image that I couldn't get out of my head. I always lay down in this particular position in my happy place, but this time my eyes were wide, head looking sideways, and there was blood pooled around my head. I guess this was me, dead, somewhere else? It didn't look like me but I knew it was me.
My psychiatrist told me to look around and see what happened, why I was dead. At first all I could tell was that there were firefighters and other people running PAST me. Past my dead body, as if I wasn't the main event, just a sideshow. I was wearing light purple, that's all I could make out of me at first. There was a lot of commotion. Something was going on behind me, and after a long time I saw more and more, and finally I could see a bus and two cars in a giant hole in the street. I didn't tell him about the hole because that didn't make any sense at all, but I told him a bus and some cars had crashed in a place where no one would've been going very fast at all, and that I felt like there was an explosion that had maybe thrown me and killed me.
Then he told me to go back before everything happened. I was in an office, gabbing with this leathery woman with short, curly hair. We were obviously secretaries. I didn't see any computers. I looked down at my feet (I was inside myself now) and saw a long, light purple skirt and light purple high heels. UGH, SICK. I hate being a secretary, I hate gabbing, I hate light purple, and I HATE HATE HATE high heels. They were weird, rounded high heels too.
I left my work building and was walking home, and that's where the accident, whatever it is, happened. I still couldn't figure it out. He had me back further, to my house. I walked into my crappy apartment to find no husband or kids, but my elderly mother. She had short white hair. That's all about that.
So, I came back to my senses (I didn't really feel any different during, just couldn't get the images out of my head and I didn't get distracted by any other thoughts). My psychiatrist summed it up pretty nicely, in regards to my agoraphobia: "Basically, you left work and died. It seems pretty related to your fears of leaving home and of work. You probably have other past lives that end the same way." I also knew that I was leading an unfulfilled life in a crappy job and I lived with my mother, and then just died randomly. What a crappy life. But it relates to me so well now. I got a boyfriend right away in life, I cry when I'm doing secretarial work, I refuse to work office jobs, I hate high heels, gabbing, and I'm afraid of women. I'm terrified of repeating that life, so much that's it's paralyzed me.
Oh, and I looked up some pictures of buses from different time periods, and so I think this time period was 1940s-1950s. The women look like they were from that time, too. My psychiatrist said, afterward, that it could've been a gas main explosion or an earthquake, or an earthquake that caused a gas main explosion. Those are both appropriate to the time period. My mom and dad said I could've been in London during a bombing, but it was during the day and I'm not sure how many bombings were in the daytime.
Now... do I just feel better, or what? I'm supposed to leave all those feelings in the past, now that I understand where they're coming from I can overcome them. But it still takes time. My psychiatrist says I should probably try again, after I've let this "memory" settle. All in all it was very successful. If you have problems that don't add-up, you should probably try this. Or try it for fun. But make sure to get a PSYCHIATRIST. Not a new age healer, psychic, or psychologist.
"Past life regression" is a new age technique where a psychiatrist trained in hypnosis gets you to relax and helps you into a deep trance (all hypnosis is self-hypnosis), where your subconscious mind takes you to a place in another time (a past life of yours) and shows you the source of your problems in this life, which have been mistakenly carried over from the past life. Therefore, if you have problems that don't make sense regarding your current life, then something has stuck with you that shouldn't have, or that you are supposed to overcome but can't.
Now, it doesn't matter if your brain makes your past life up. All that matters is that you are asking your subconscious to help you get better subconsciously. Who better to ask for help? Whether it is your imagination or not, what you see will help you.
I, personally, based on my experience, believe it is a past life of mine, because my imagination would never have thought up something so lame and irritating as what I experienced as a past life:
My psychiatrist had me meditate deeply. I've done meditation before to help anxiety, but it never really helped. In meditation you go to your "happy place", mine is a one tree hill. He told me to float above my body in the happy place and fly away for a bit. When I returned to my body, it would be a different body in a different time. As soon as I left my body I saw a disturbing image that I couldn't get out of my head. I always lay down in this particular position in my happy place, but this time my eyes were wide, head looking sideways, and there was blood pooled around my head. I guess this was me, dead, somewhere else? It didn't look like me but I knew it was me.
My psychiatrist told me to look around and see what happened, why I was dead. At first all I could tell was that there were firefighters and other people running PAST me. Past my dead body, as if I wasn't the main event, just a sideshow. I was wearing light purple, that's all I could make out of me at first. There was a lot of commotion. Something was going on behind me, and after a long time I saw more and more, and finally I could see a bus and two cars in a giant hole in the street. I didn't tell him about the hole because that didn't make any sense at all, but I told him a bus and some cars had crashed in a place where no one would've been going very fast at all, and that I felt like there was an explosion that had maybe thrown me and killed me.
Then he told me to go back before everything happened. I was in an office, gabbing with this leathery woman with short, curly hair. We were obviously secretaries. I didn't see any computers. I looked down at my feet (I was inside myself now) and saw a long, light purple skirt and light purple high heels. UGH, SICK. I hate being a secretary, I hate gabbing, I hate light purple, and I HATE HATE HATE high heels. They were weird, rounded high heels too.
I left my work building and was walking home, and that's where the accident, whatever it is, happened. I still couldn't figure it out. He had me back further, to my house. I walked into my crappy apartment to find no husband or kids, but my elderly mother. She had short white hair. That's all about that.
So, I came back to my senses (I didn't really feel any different during, just couldn't get the images out of my head and I didn't get distracted by any other thoughts). My psychiatrist summed it up pretty nicely, in regards to my agoraphobia: "Basically, you left work and died. It seems pretty related to your fears of leaving home and of work. You probably have other past lives that end the same way." I also knew that I was leading an unfulfilled life in a crappy job and I lived with my mother, and then just died randomly. What a crappy life. But it relates to me so well now. I got a boyfriend right away in life, I cry when I'm doing secretarial work, I refuse to work office jobs, I hate high heels, gabbing, and I'm afraid of women. I'm terrified of repeating that life, so much that's it's paralyzed me.
Oh, and I looked up some pictures of buses from different time periods, and so I think this time period was 1940s-1950s. The women look like they were from that time, too. My psychiatrist said, afterward, that it could've been a gas main explosion or an earthquake, or an earthquake that caused a gas main explosion. Those are both appropriate to the time period. My mom and dad said I could've been in London during a bombing, but it was during the day and I'm not sure how many bombings were in the daytime.
Now... do I just feel better, or what? I'm supposed to leave all those feelings in the past, now that I understand where they're coming from I can overcome them. But it still takes time. My psychiatrist says I should probably try again, after I've let this "memory" settle. All in all it was very successful. If you have problems that don't add-up, you should probably try this. Or try it for fun. But make sure to get a PSYCHIATRIST. Not a new age healer, psychic, or psychologist.
13/11: Ew ew ew ew
Oh my GOD >_< Ew ew ew ew
Okay, so, I sit at the desk in the breakfast nook and I can see the outside side of our side porch door from where I sit. So, I often VERY OFTEN have to open the door for my outdoor cats. It's almost second nature for me to open the door when I see a head pop up at the door. So, it's 3:00, and I see a head pop up at the door. I stand to go answer it and then I realize, the head is pinkish-white, unlike my cats. Then I realize it's a 'possum the size of my big ass cats. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWW
He came up to our house door and I almost went to let him in >_< Ew ew ew ew
Both my cats were already in for the night (it's cold). Oh, maybe the opossum wanted to get in from the cold. EW EW EW they are so gross >_<
Okay, so, I sit at the desk in the breakfast nook and I can see the outside side of our side porch door from where I sit. So, I often VERY OFTEN have to open the door for my outdoor cats. It's almost second nature for me to open the door when I see a head pop up at the door. So, it's 3:00, and I see a head pop up at the door. I stand to go answer it and then I realize, the head is pinkish-white, unlike my cats. Then I realize it's a 'possum the size of my big ass cats. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWW
He came up to our house door and I almost went to let him in >_< Ew ew ew ew
Both my cats were already in for the night (it's cold). Oh, maybe the opossum wanted to get in from the cold. EW EW EW they are so gross >_<
07/11: The Day the Music Died
Today is the one year anniversary of my brother’s untimely death. Instead of a comic I decided to put together a video much like the original video I showed you 1 year ago of Andy and I performing a Muse song. This time it’s Muse’s “Sunburn.” The quality is terrible and I did the singing in one shot, but the dancing is AMAZING. Also, Andy rose from the dead to perform with me. I knew death wouldn’t stop our career as musicians.
Aren't we just darling?
Aren't we just darling?
05/11: Obama!
Obamas! In Pajamas! Obamas! In Pajamas!
04/11: Sit on the Babies
I didn't do anything for Halloween except watch Poltergeist. My parents handed out candy outside, thankfully, because hearing the doorbell gives me an anxiety attack ^_^' I miss trick-or-treating! And dressing up! I will love taking my children out trick-or-treating in the future.
Speaking of children, I am babysitting tonight O_O I'm shocked that I said "yes", but I know why I'm able to do it. It's for my next door neighbors, so, I'm still close enough to my safety zone to not panic, and I love their kids. Luke, 2, and Ryan, 4, come over to visit me in my backyard sometimes when I'm swinging. Ryan adores me, or so his parents say, and has to come see me every time I'm out. I feel bad for his parents, because they probably think I'm a freak. A 21 year-old that swings... it's weird. ;_; Also, it doesn't seem like I have a job or go to college because of the hours I'm at home, so I'm pretty suspicious. But, nah, his parents are nice to me. Still, I'm not going to tell them I have mental problems. People don't generally want people with mental problems playing with their children or taking care of them. O_o
Aaaaaarrrrrreeeee yoooooooooooooouuuuuuuu neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrvooooooooouuuuuuuuussssss about tonight??? I am. I don't know if you know, but I am a Democrat. Definitely rooting for Obama. And I voted! Sorry, Republicans. I will be crushed if Obama loses. ;_; McCain should've been president four years ago. He missed out.
Speaking of children, I am babysitting tonight O_O I'm shocked that I said "yes", but I know why I'm able to do it. It's for my next door neighbors, so, I'm still close enough to my safety zone to not panic, and I love their kids. Luke, 2, and Ryan, 4, come over to visit me in my backyard sometimes when I'm swinging. Ryan adores me, or so his parents say, and has to come see me every time I'm out. I feel bad for his parents, because they probably think I'm a freak. A 21 year-old that swings... it's weird. ;_; Also, it doesn't seem like I have a job or go to college because of the hours I'm at home, so I'm pretty suspicious. But, nah, his parents are nice to me. Still, I'm not going to tell them I have mental problems. People don't generally want people with mental problems playing with their children or taking care of them. O_o
Aaaaaarrrrrreeeee yoooooooooooooouuuuuuuu neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrvooooooooouuuuuuuuussssss about tonight??? I am. I don't know if you know, but I am a Democrat. Definitely rooting for Obama. And I voted! Sorry, Republicans. I will be crushed if Obama loses. ;_; McCain should've been president four years ago. He missed out.
24/10: Homecoming
I've been home for a week now and I've missed living in Boone every moment of the day ;_; I think as an agoraphobic the tiny living space is more comforting than my vacuous house. In Boone I could drive, too. I can't drive again now that I'm home. Once again, Boone is very very tiny and Cary is very very large. In Boone you won't be driving for more than five minutes to get somewhere, and if you don't know where the place you're going is, if you drive around you'll find it pretty quickly.
I was offered the perfect opportunity to stay in Boone. Corey works several shifts at KFC and they need a buffet person, so I could've worked WITH COREY and get enough money to stay with him. But after getting excited I thought about the actual possibility of working and got really depressed. Way to ruin everything, brain. Once again, there's no "pushing through it," "sucking it up," "sticking it out" etc. They're irrational feelings that come over me and I can't fight them.
However, this has given me more motivation to get better. I had previously given up on therapy because all I do is sit there and explain that I don't have any real problems and that they're all irrational so why bother explaining them, while my first counselor said "that must be hard for you," (best one)my psychiatrist said nothing and waited for me to talk more, and my therapist said "it seems coming here makes you even more miserable, maybe we shouldn't meet so often..." (at all). Drugs are the only thing that've helped but not completely. Now I'm going to try HYPNOTHERAPY! Sweet. I'm going to refer to the hypnotherapist (a psychiatrist trained in past life regression) as my hypnotoad.
Hee.
I was offered the perfect opportunity to stay in Boone. Corey works several shifts at KFC and they need a buffet person, so I could've worked WITH COREY and get enough money to stay with him. But after getting excited I thought about the actual possibility of working and got really depressed. Way to ruin everything, brain. Once again, there's no "pushing through it," "sucking it up," "sticking it out" etc. They're irrational feelings that come over me and I can't fight them.
However, this has given me more motivation to get better. I had previously given up on therapy because all I do is sit there and explain that I don't have any real problems and that they're all irrational so why bother explaining them, while my first counselor said "that must be hard for you," (best one)my psychiatrist said nothing and waited for me to talk more, and my therapist said "it seems coming here makes you even more miserable, maybe we shouldn't meet so often..." (at all). Drugs are the only thing that've helped but not completely. Now I'm going to try HYPNOTHERAPY! Sweet. I'm going to refer to the hypnotherapist (a psychiatrist trained in past life regression) as my hypnotoad.
Hee.
30/09: Livin' in Sin
I was at this really fancy party, and my twins were there (Dustin and Devin). Suddenly, Devin presents me with a black box and says, "Here, Shannon, I want to give you the 1000 dollars you need to buy your Cintiq."
And then I woke up. >_< Not that I would've taken it anyway, because that's an insane amount of money to receive from a friend. I might take it from a stranger, but not a friend. THEN, that morning, I get an e-mail from Devin asking if he and Dustin can come play Halo the next night. It was creepy because it's usually Dustin who wants to come play, as Devin is usually preoccupied with World of Warcraft.
So they came to play Halo with me, which I really enjoy, since I have no one to play Halo with. (Corey's one major flaw is that he hates Halo). We play for a while and then...
Dustin: I'd donate to your site if I had any money.
Shan: I get that a lot.
Devin: I have 1000 dollars.
Shan: !!!
I stare wildly at Devin for a minute. It's my dream! It's coming true! Holy crap!
Then I have to explain why I'm staring at him, and I tell him about the dream and that I'm sorry, but I can't accept that much money from him. (No he wasn't even going to offer XD)
But, so, yeah. I have prophetic dreams now.
I don't have any real pictures of my twins (I really need to have some...) but they are soooooooo cute and I am sooooo lucky to have them. They actually do look just like the twins from Ouran High School (fangirls are going to kill me out of jealousy). They're very skinny, cute, and identical:
Currently I am in Boone, living in my boyfriend's cramped apartment. I LOVE it. Two people are definitely not supposed to live in this room but somehow it works. Basically all I need to entertain myself is my laptop, so when Corey goes to class it's no problem. So I am sort of living on my own, just with Corey. It counts because it's away from parental units and I'm not in college. I even managed to drive Corey to class and then drive by myself to the grocery store to pick up some white cheddar cheez-its I had a craving for.
Yes, on that note, I stopped my no carb diet because I can't afford the meat-vegetable diet on my own, and without my mom constantly cooking meat for us both there's nothing to eat. Pizza is a major part of the college person's diet, so I need to be able to help Corey eat it. Hee. I love pizza. Anyway, it was actually a really easy diet to follow and I had already lost 3 pounds (though at that point it was probably just water weight).
So, we got some bags of candy corn at the Wal-Mart and I scarfed that candy down like it was... crackers. Not all of it, no, but enough to get me a sugar high. I've never been so giggly. It felt great to be happy for once. O_o
Silent Hill 5 is out today O_O I am so damn EXCITED!!!!!!!!!
I'm sure I've been annoying Corey because at least once every hour since I've been here (Sunday) I turn to him and go, "Silent Hill?" or whisper creepily, "Silent Hill". And in about 10 minutes I'm going to go get it! Unfortunately, it's a game that's better to play in the dark, so I'll be waiting until night to play.
Btw, if I get no manga done or am absent on the forums, you can blame either Corey or Silent Hill. But it's only temporary. (I still intend to do regular Peons updates and try to do manga. If I had my cintiq it would be better, hee hee).
And then I woke up. >_< Not that I would've taken it anyway, because that's an insane amount of money to receive from a friend. I might take it from a stranger, but not a friend. THEN, that morning, I get an e-mail from Devin asking if he and Dustin can come play Halo the next night. It was creepy because it's usually Dustin who wants to come play, as Devin is usually preoccupied with World of Warcraft.
So they came to play Halo with me, which I really enjoy, since I have no one to play Halo with. (Corey's one major flaw is that he hates Halo). We play for a while and then...
Dustin: I'd donate to your site if I had any money.
Shan: I get that a lot.
Devin: I have 1000 dollars.
Shan: !!!
I stare wildly at Devin for a minute. It's my dream! It's coming true! Holy crap!
Then I have to explain why I'm staring at him, and I tell him about the dream and that I'm sorry, but I can't accept that much money from him. (No he wasn't even going to offer XD)
But, so, yeah. I have prophetic dreams now.
I don't have any real pictures of my twins (I really need to have some...) but they are soooooooo cute and I am sooooo lucky to have them. They actually do look just like the twins from Ouran High School (fangirls are going to kill me out of jealousy). They're very skinny, cute, and identical:
Currently I am in Boone, living in my boyfriend's cramped apartment. I LOVE it. Two people are definitely not supposed to live in this room but somehow it works. Basically all I need to entertain myself is my laptop, so when Corey goes to class it's no problem. So I am sort of living on my own, just with Corey. It counts because it's away from parental units and I'm not in college. I even managed to drive Corey to class and then drive by myself to the grocery store to pick up some white cheddar cheez-its I had a craving for.
Yes, on that note, I stopped my no carb diet because I can't afford the meat-vegetable diet on my own, and without my mom constantly cooking meat for us both there's nothing to eat. Pizza is a major part of the college person's diet, so I need to be able to help Corey eat it. Hee. I love pizza. Anyway, it was actually a really easy diet to follow and I had already lost 3 pounds (though at that point it was probably just water weight).
So, we got some bags of candy corn at the Wal-Mart and I scarfed that candy down like it was... crackers. Not all of it, no, but enough to get me a sugar high. I've never been so giggly. It felt great to be happy for once. O_o
Silent Hill 5 is out today O_O I am so damn EXCITED!!!!!!!!!
I'm sure I've been annoying Corey because at least once every hour since I've been here (Sunday) I turn to him and go, "Silent Hill?" or whisper creepily, "Silent Hill". And in about 10 minutes I'm going to go get it! Unfortunately, it's a game that's better to play in the dark, so I'll be waiting until night to play.
Btw, if I get no manga done or am absent on the forums, you can blame either Corey or Silent Hill. But it's only temporary. (I still intend to do regular Peons updates and try to do manga. If I had my cintiq it would be better, hee hee).
Me trying to get a peek at Gay Street.
Baltimorians don't read.
Neither does the octopus at the Aquarium.
Mom and I with Allison Dubois. Dear god, I look fat in that pic. But so does Allison, who is actually a stick.
This is the stage in the Versailles room that Allison sat on. After the show she set down the pad of paper she scribbled on the whole time (yes, scribbled violently), and left, so I ran up to the stage and snuck a peek at it. Weird stuff. I wanted to take it and sell it on eBay but that would probably be mean. I mean, that's a $1.29 of notepad right there.
Ever since the trip and during the trip I could not get an image of me and a dog playing out of my head. I've never even liked dogs before. Suddenly, I can't see myself happy without one. It's distressing because my getting a dog is impossible. My parents don't like dogs and my boyfriend lives in an apartment that doubles the rent if you have a dog. So it could be 5 years before I get one, and I feel like my happiness is 5 years away.
A dog would be great for me, now that I think about it. I need someone around the house that has energy. Cats just make me sleepy. And I need someone who worships me. Someone I can wrestle with. Someone I can take a walk with and not feel like I'd be mugged. Someone to get me out of the house. Someone to play catch with. Someone who wouldn't run away if I was in danger. O_o Basically I need to love and be loved by a doggie.
But man do they smell bad.
In other news, I am on a low carb diet in order to lose the weight I gained from 1. depression 2. depression medication 3. grieving Andy's death. I'm still average weight for my height (I have some wicked powerful metabolism) but I'd like to return to my high school weight of 110. Sweet. Also, my boobs are just too big. They make me look fat. (sorry, Corey XD) But this diet is actually heaven to me. All I ever want to eat is vegetables and meat but I never can because they're never in the house. But now that my mom is on this diet along with me that's all there is to eat. HEAVEN. And you dramatically lose weight on this diet. Most people just can't do it, because basically all we Americans eat are carbs and junkfood.
So, I apologize to all you vegetarians/vegans out there. I am eating 5x as much meat as I usually eat. So your efforts are for naught.
I still want the Cintiq... ;_; But nothing I do makes people give me money. @_@
18/09: Baltimore
Warning: may be controversial. I feel it's good to expose people to all kinds of ideas so if you have an open mind and enjoy learning things, read on.
This week I went to Baltimore (which I have been mistakenly been pronouncing like Balthazar because of Balthazar) for Allison Dubois's seminar. Allison Dubois is a world-renowned medium (talks to the dead) known for solving 100s of crimes with her abilities. The show Medium is based on her life. My family has always been drawn to psychics and I've always felt that I was more intuitive than others, but I attribute that more to a different part of the brain some people might not use as much, and I'm not sure if I believe in ghosts and an "Other Side" of ghosts that watch over us or not. I would certainly like to believe it, that would be neat, to say the least.
I do believe in the evolution of the mind as the next step in evolution of mankind, since there is so much of the brain we don't know about. My subconscious is certainly mystifying to me. I feel like the subconscious does hold incredible power we need to harness. So if ESP/intuition/psychic power is the way to go then so be it. I just need a little more convincing.
So my mother got really into psychics since Andy died, a natural reaction to death, and when we learned that Allison was coming to Baltimore (5 hour drive from here) we decided "why not?" My grandmother was thrilled to come as well.
It was definitely a horizon-expanding experience and that's definitely worth the trip and the money. Allison Dubois herself was a very down-to-earth person (ironically), she was smart, funny, and a good talker. It's hard to doubt such a genuine person. Also, she is the skinniest person over 30 I have ever seen in my life. Geez, so tiny! But she was still taller than me. Everyone who came to the seminar got to meet her, get her to sign a book or take a picture with her. When you met her she would read your "energy" or something and decide if you are the 4 out of 100 that she would read this seminar. I went in with tons of energy and even flirted with her bodyguard, but I think that was the wrong type of energy. It's regretful because if I had known being depressed would've earned a reading I could've easily cried or gotten depressed on demand.
Shan to the bodyguard: "Psst, watch out for my Grandma, she's dangerous!"
Bodyguard: "Okay, I gotcha."
After I got my picture taken I pointed to my eyes and then to Grandma as she stepped up to get her book signed. He nodded and returned the gesture.
As I was leaving, the bodyguard said: "That's funny, she told me the same thing about you," (which she hadn't)
Shan: "Oh, she's a crafty one..."
Allison laughed <3
She did 4 readings.
The first one was an older widow trying to contact her dead husband, Mike. This one went terrible. Allison kept giving information that didn't make sense to the woman and Allison couldn't understand why. She was adamant in her reading. Suddenly, a girl that had been sitting in the front row (about a foot away from Allison) who had left in the middle of the reading, came up with Allison's assistant.
Assistant: "Allison, you're reading this girl,"
Girl: "That's my Mike. The "Mike x2, the number 37, the dog you described, they're all about my Uncle Mike. He has a very obnoxious personality and I think he may be interfering,"
Allison: "Oh thank goodness, I was really sure about the information I was receiving. He must've gotten excited when he heard the name Mike, thinking it was his chance to slip in."
So that reading was strange. The second reading was a couple who were definitely in a black fog of grief, much like my family was in the first couple months after Andy died. They had lost a son and a daughter in a car accident. This reading didn't go too well because there were specific things they wanted to hear from Allison, like if I was trying to get a reading I would want to hear "There is a boy here who is showing me a bear with teeth (Radiohead) and a guitar," but I guess the dead can't communicate very well, or they have a different type of language that's hard to read (or this is all bull crap, whichever XD) So that one didn't go well either. She did get the name "Ally," which turned out to be the next person's dead daughter who that couple knew too, and was hanging out with their dead children.
FINALLY, the last reading (Ally's mother) was perfect. It probably should've convinced me but somehow I am still doubtful.
Allison: "I am getting a name John that is alternating with the name Jack, and that this person is with your daughter."
Mother: "Yes, she has a grandfather who's name is John but everyone called him Jack."
Allison: "I see... I think it's Mexico. And a Mexican bracelet with her name on it."
Mother: "Yes, she had just visited Mexico in the summer with her senior class."
Allison: "Somewhere there is a bracelet with her name in it,"
Mother: "Yes, there is."
Allison: "She wants you to know that the picture of her in Mexico is how she appears now, in that happiness."
Mother: "Okay."
Allison: "I see a city... It could be San Francisco,"
Mother: "She wanted to go to Hollywood and be an actress."
Allison: "Okay. It seems like she would've ended up being with children, a teacher or something, despite wanting to be an actress. She says she helps children now, helps them transfer to the Other Side."
Mother: "Okay."
Allison: "She says she feels her death wasn't in vain because she was able to save people through it. Like, her dying saved others,"
Mother: "She died in a car crash. She was driving and she was the only one with a seat belt on. She died and three other people in the car lived."
Allison: "She feels like her death was helpful in some way, whether it's because she can help others transfer on the Other Side, or because her death taught something to someone living, and she wants you to stop obsessing over her death."
Mother: "Okay."
Allison: "She said she's very powerful on the Other Side and manipulated your coming here. She said it was her greatest performance ever."
Mother laughs.
So, that was essentially it. I think that's pretty good, but it would've been better if all the readings were that accurate. Allison said before that people who were very energetic and open in life were easier to reach on the other side, like Ally and Uncle Mike, while maybe more reserved people like the widow's husband would be harder to read. I guess that makes sense but who knows.
We were disappointed we didn't get read, but if you go to the seminar you get first dibs on a reading so it was beneficial in that way.
More on Baltimore later.
This week I went to Baltimore (which I have been mistakenly been pronouncing like Balthazar because of Balthazar) for Allison Dubois's seminar. Allison Dubois is a world-renowned medium (talks to the dead) known for solving 100s of crimes with her abilities. The show Medium is based on her life. My family has always been drawn to psychics and I've always felt that I was more intuitive than others, but I attribute that more to a different part of the brain some people might not use as much, and I'm not sure if I believe in ghosts and an "Other Side" of ghosts that watch over us or not. I would certainly like to believe it, that would be neat, to say the least.
I do believe in the evolution of the mind as the next step in evolution of mankind, since there is so much of the brain we don't know about. My subconscious is certainly mystifying to me. I feel like the subconscious does hold incredible power we need to harness. So if ESP/intuition/psychic power is the way to go then so be it. I just need a little more convincing.
So my mother got really into psychics since Andy died, a natural reaction to death, and when we learned that Allison was coming to Baltimore (5 hour drive from here) we decided "why not?" My grandmother was thrilled to come as well.
It was definitely a horizon-expanding experience and that's definitely worth the trip and the money. Allison Dubois herself was a very down-to-earth person (ironically), she was smart, funny, and a good talker. It's hard to doubt such a genuine person. Also, she is the skinniest person over 30 I have ever seen in my life. Geez, so tiny! But she was still taller than me. Everyone who came to the seminar got to meet her, get her to sign a book or take a picture with her. When you met her she would read your "energy" or something and decide if you are the 4 out of 100 that she would read this seminar. I went in with tons of energy and even flirted with her bodyguard, but I think that was the wrong type of energy. It's regretful because if I had known being depressed would've earned a reading I could've easily cried or gotten depressed on demand.
Shan to the bodyguard: "Psst, watch out for my Grandma, she's dangerous!"
Bodyguard: "Okay, I gotcha."
After I got my picture taken I pointed to my eyes and then to Grandma as she stepped up to get her book signed. He nodded and returned the gesture.
As I was leaving, the bodyguard said: "That's funny, she told me the same thing about you," (which she hadn't)
Shan: "Oh, she's a crafty one..."
Allison laughed <3
She did 4 readings.
The first one was an older widow trying to contact her dead husband, Mike. This one went terrible. Allison kept giving information that didn't make sense to the woman and Allison couldn't understand why. She was adamant in her reading. Suddenly, a girl that had been sitting in the front row (about a foot away from Allison) who had left in the middle of the reading, came up with Allison's assistant.
Assistant: "Allison, you're reading this girl,"
Girl: "That's my Mike. The "Mike x2, the number 37, the dog you described, they're all about my Uncle Mike. He has a very obnoxious personality and I think he may be interfering,"
Allison: "Oh thank goodness, I was really sure about the information I was receiving. He must've gotten excited when he heard the name Mike, thinking it was his chance to slip in."
So that reading was strange. The second reading was a couple who were definitely in a black fog of grief, much like my family was in the first couple months after Andy died. They had lost a son and a daughter in a car accident. This reading didn't go too well because there were specific things they wanted to hear from Allison, like if I was trying to get a reading I would want to hear "There is a boy here who is showing me a bear with teeth (Radiohead) and a guitar," but I guess the dead can't communicate very well, or they have a different type of language that's hard to read (or this is all bull crap, whichever XD) So that one didn't go well either. She did get the name "Ally," which turned out to be the next person's dead daughter who that couple knew too, and was hanging out with their dead children.
FINALLY, the last reading (Ally's mother) was perfect. It probably should've convinced me but somehow I am still doubtful.
Allison: "I am getting a name John that is alternating with the name Jack, and that this person is with your daughter."
Mother: "Yes, she has a grandfather who's name is John but everyone called him Jack."
Allison: "I see... I think it's Mexico. And a Mexican bracelet with her name on it."
Mother: "Yes, she had just visited Mexico in the summer with her senior class."
Allison: "Somewhere there is a bracelet with her name in it,"
Mother: "Yes, there is."
Allison: "She wants you to know that the picture of her in Mexico is how she appears now, in that happiness."
Mother: "Okay."
Allison: "I see a city... It could be San Francisco,"
Mother: "She wanted to go to Hollywood and be an actress."
Allison: "Okay. It seems like she would've ended up being with children, a teacher or something, despite wanting to be an actress. She says she helps children now, helps them transfer to the Other Side."
Mother: "Okay."
Allison: "She says she feels her death wasn't in vain because she was able to save people through it. Like, her dying saved others,"
Mother: "She died in a car crash. She was driving and she was the only one with a seat belt on. She died and three other people in the car lived."
Allison: "She feels like her death was helpful in some way, whether it's because she can help others transfer on the Other Side, or because her death taught something to someone living, and she wants you to stop obsessing over her death."
Mother: "Okay."
Allison: "She said she's very powerful on the Other Side and manipulated your coming here. She said it was her greatest performance ever."
Mother laughs.
So, that was essentially it. I think that's pretty good, but it would've been better if all the readings were that accurate. Allison said before that people who were very energetic and open in life were easier to reach on the other side, like Ally and Uncle Mike, while maybe more reserved people like the widow's husband would be harder to read. I guess that makes sense but who knows.
We were disappointed we didn't get read, but if you go to the seminar you get first dibs on a reading so it was beneficial in that way.
More on Baltimore later.
